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Why Is Premarital Counselling Necessary?

Why Is Premarital Counselling Necessary?

crop indian man giving ring to woman during traditional wedding ceremony

Studies show that happily married people have longer life spans than their uncoupled counterparts. But the key word here is not ‘married’. It’s ‘happily’. Those who are unhappily married often face chronic health issues, both physical and mental. 

Unlike what we’re so often told, it’s not enough to be married. One must nurture the marriage and fiercely protect it from all ill, including the demons that live within each of us. 

And this takes work. 

In India, pre-marital counseling is not very popular. Parents, relatives, siblings and even friends often take on the role of advising a young couple on how to deal with issues. But often, that borders on meddling. It’s hardly ever objective, and inevitably, it’s full of tropes and platitudes such as ‘adjust kar lo’. The genderization of “advice” around marriage also leads to post-marriage depression among many women in India.

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Now, all of this can be mitigated to some extent with pre-marital counseling.

So if you’re getting married, here’s why premarital counseling is necessary:

It will help you: 

  • vocalize your expectations and fears as you embark on this journey
  • identify and refine your communication style, which is the bedrock of a healthy relationship
  • assess what kind of problems you might face in the future
  • learn how to identify and resolve conflict, and what to do if you’re not able to come to a resolution on your own 
  • draw healthy boundaries with each other
  • draw healthy boundaries with extended family
  • have open and honest conversations about sticky topics like money, religion, children, and sex
  • how to deal when the spark ebbs and flows 
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