Posting selfies that say #nofilter, reading alone after cancelling plans with friends, and eating a little too much ice cream at 2:00 AM are some of the ways we might have indulged in something that we consider as ‘self love’. But the problem with such expressions of self-love is that we believe they are supposed to be occasional. 

Self love is beyond unconditionally loving your body or journaling every now and then. It’s a prerequisite for well-being. But unfortunately we let self-love become that one thing on our to-do list that keeps getting postponed to tomorrow everyday until the deadline hits us hard in the face. Isn’t it? 

Now, enough of the procrastination. It’s time to take charge and give yourself the love you deserve whether or not any reality-check hits you. And so, I have created a foolproof recipe for self love and I want you to follow every step meticulously. 

Step 1: Marinate Your Heart in Self-Introspection 

When was the last time you had a good long conversation with yourself? No, not about work or friends or family but about yourself! It’s extremely important that you keep your heart under your own supervision and be aware of its whereabouts- what’s bothering you, what you are feeling vulnerable about, if you’re able to fulfil your desires, who you’re catching feelings for, etc. So, the next time you feel like something’s up, don’t avoid it by plugging in your earphones and dozing off to a web series, just to distract yourself from your own reality. Face yourself and be aware of every nook and corner of your heart. 

Step 2: Coat Your Soul With Realisations and Acceptance 

Once you have dug deep within yourself, you will realise there is a lot you can fix before blaming your job to be too hectic or your family being too important, for you to take out any time for yourself. You will be able to realise your needs and wants and accept your own shortcomings. You would be able to pinpoint people and situations that bother you and bring down your energy. Let these realisations stay with you and let acceptance become the key to moving closer towards self-love. 

Step 3: Dust Off the Extra Opinions and Judgements from Yourself 

Next is probably the hardest step but the one that if done right can make all the difference in the final result – getting over the opinions and judgments of others. You don’t have to always see yourself from other people’s eyes especially if those people aren’t your well-wishers. You don’t need flawed judgments and unnecessary opinions about you travelling to your heart to make you question your true value and worth. Sure, constructive feedback and guidance can be entertained but you really need to dust off all other extra opinions, judgements and toxicity.

Step 5: Reduce Down Your Priorities to Peace of Mind 

I think one mistake that all of us have made at some point of time is falling for happiness as if that’s the only true love we need in life. What about peace of mind? is my question. Can’t you be at peace irrespective of the happiness quotient of your current situation? Put your priorities on fire and let your addiction for happiness reduce down to the love for peace of mind. Trust me, you can have troubles and yet be calm. You don’t always necessarily have to run after the best of scenarios. Let’s face it- life isn’t always going to be rosy but that doesn’t mean we have to lose our tranquility over anything less. 

Step 6: Preserve All the Goodness You Have in You 

After you become aware of your heart, accept yourself for what you are, get rid of all toxicity, and learn to stay calm, you will understand that all this in itself are acts of self-love and all you gotta do to keep doing it- over and over again! After all, self-love has to be both a process you enjoy and the result you cherish. You can’t let your goodness get diluted over situations and circumstances you can’t control. You need to hold yourself close to you. And don’t worry all the mistakes you make this time around can become lessons for the recipe of self-love for next time. 

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