Is Your Relationship Moving “Too Fast”? Here Are 3 Things You Can Do Instead Of Hitting Halt
We’re told that if something goes up fast, it will come crashing down just as quickly. It’s not entirely untrue. Many relationships start with bright sparks that end up blinding us to red flags we shouldn’t otherwise ignore. The same goes for jobs - It’s not unheard of for people to start a project or a new job with the utmost enthusiasm, only to completely lose interest or even burnout within a few months.
Something, though, needs to be said about how it is a rarity to come across someone whose company we actually enjoy - someone we feel that magical connection with, someone we can spend hours talking to, someone who makes us laugh and think all at once, and someone who “gets us”. This is especially true for those of us in our late 20s and older. Those butterflies in the stomach in become harder to come by as the years pass. But, what does exist on the other side of 25 more than it did before, is cynicism. If not cynicism, the more-bitter-than-sweet experiences we go through leave us guarded. We become more fearful of love failing us, or hurting us, and may feel things are moving faster than they actually may be.
Whatever may be the case for you - a love-sickness that has left you oblivious to the pitfalls, or the walls you have built over the years - here are three constructive things you can do if you feel your relationship is moving “too fast”:
Dissect what you’re really feeling
Are you acting from a place of fear? Before you hurriedly tell yourself you’re not, and that you’re only trying to be smart, here’s something to consider: If you can recognise the fact that things are moving “too fast”, then you’re not blinded by the mania that often accompanies the initial stages of meeting someone new. You are cognisant. Now, take this a step further and ask yourself, what are you afraid of?
Focus on yourself
Step back, physically and emotionally, and shift the focus back on your own self for a while. Do something alone, or with your friends. Start something new that doesn’t involve your new bae. When we become enmeshed with another person, which sometimes happens when it’s someone new, we start feeling anxious and as if we don’t have any sort of control over what’s happening. Change that by shifting the focus back on yourself.
The irony is that what we fear the most is often already happening. The underlying fear with a relationship that is moving “too fast” is that it will all end just as quickly, and this person whose company you’re loving so much, will not longer be around. Guess what? By withdrawing, or calling it quits, or finding other ways to sabotage this, you are making that a reality anyway. So, stop overthinking and enjoy it while it lasts!