Everybody Has A 'Pain Body.' Here's Why You Need To Heal It•
In my younger years, if anyone had suggested I read anything about spirituality or self-help, I'd have flatly refused to even consider this genre of writing. But, things change.
The first book I was recommended at a time when I was going through an emotional trauma in my early 40s was Creative Visualisations, by Shakti Gawain. This was followed by a mention of many other authors such as Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson and Wayne Dyer. As I was facing a severe crisis on several fronts, I read a lot of books by these and other authors.
At the time of reading, it all seemed to make sense and I had several Aha-moments. But soon, I would slide back into my negativity and extreme frustration. I would start reading again, and feel momentarily better only to slip yet again. A doctor friend suggested that along with my reading, I go for counselling and continue to do so for at least a year. I was warned that after the first few sessions when I'd discussed threadbare my issues I would feel that there is nothing left to talk about, and that there's no need to see the counsellor anymore, but I should not stop, even if it meant I discuss the weather, state of traffic, politics etc. I followed his advice. As I look back at those years, I realise the value of the advice I was given. Here are my learnings about emotional pain and our recovery:
Our emotional problems need to be aired with an expert if they are continuing to drown us. A one time airing will not resolve them. It may take many visits spread over weeks, months, even years before we can fully resolve the issues. Sometimes accepting the situation is the only resolution you will have.
You are not weak if you choose to go to a counsellor or Psychiatrist. In fact you are a very smart and enlightened human being because you have chosen to seek expert help.
Emotional pain is very real and people telling you to snap out of it or to "let go" don't understand that it is easier said than done.
Repeated emotional pain can result in the formation of a very strong Pain Body inside you. This pain body has a life force of its own, and will make home in your emotional self, and surface ever so often if you are not watchful and mindful of it. It can lead to depression, anxiety, unreasonable anger outbursts, frustration and helplessness.
So what exactly is the manifestation of the pain body, and how does one deal with it?
From the time that we are little children, all our unresolved hurts that are accumulated in our subconscious are collectively termed as the 'Pain Body.'
Let me share a couple of examples with you: I was an overweight teenager, and was always teased for being "moti." I became a svelte female in my 20s, and mostly stayed slim but in my head, I’m still fat. Because I was overweight, no one wanted to play with me when I was young....I still carry the hurt inside me.
After I got married and had children, my MIL would point out flaws in my parenting, spending habits, friendships etc. I know now that she didn’t do it to hurt me. She was just being herself. But, I didn’t know how to stand up for myself or deal with that hurt.
The things that can injure us are numerous, but not everybody feels helpless. A lot of people have the tools to deal with and resolve the hurts, taunts etc., while some of us are just not able to do so. These are the individuals like me in whose emotional reservoir there sits a dark and ugly monster called the Pain Body. The only way to overpower this monster is to be constantly aware of its existence.
Ever so often when you find yourself going into a spiral of helpless misery, blaming someone, negativity towards a situation, you need to pause and become aware of what’s happening. It is the Pain Body acting up. It catches you unawares, and sometimes days can pass without you realising this is what is happening.
The good news is, the minute you can become conscious of the Pain Body phenomenon, you have taken the first step towards releasing its stranglehold on you. You have realised what it is, and ceased to think that “I am feeling like this.” Instead of the experiencer of the feeling, you have become the observer of this phenomenon. The next step then is to understand that it is an old foe that has come to torment you, and its strength lies in your lack of awareness. Once you bring awareness to the fore, you become the stronger of the two; you have taken over the controls of your consciousness and the Pain Body will shrivel up and retreat into a corner.
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