Three Things To Remember In The Face of Fear•
Contributed By Shibani Bedi
I am not a fan of living in fear, but I am too middle class not to. In fact, like many before me, being fearful has been my sole motivator all through life -- of failure, of not being good enough, of missing out or not meeting social deadlines for some blah blah blah that everyone ought to do when they hit a certain age or maturity level (even if they stand as the most immature of the lot). Or worse, the fear of being self congratulatory and proud enough of one's achievements lest one compromises one's humility and gets too complacent with trivial wins.
The fear of losing out is just another ploy designed to keep you ungrateful and oblivious to the beauty of universe's plan for you!
Anyway... Cutting to the chase, here are a list of things that I have learnt while pandering to fear's foreboding gallery, while trying each day to survive falling prey to its nefarious plans.
- That it is okay to not get what you want
Every tiny speck of dust that adds to one's sand castle of perception is worth owning, and gratuitously magnifying and projecting. That sometimes celebrating yourself, and what you have in the now, is so much more refreshing and satisfying that sifting through twenty windows brooding over what you don't have, or could have had, had things aligned in your favour. Because who knows what is favourable to you, right? That's again us presuming, and looking at the glass half empty from a competitive lens designed by the ecosystem around us. One that encourages inferiority complexes, competition, insecurities, jealousy, trampling hope of equal opportunity to ensure it has an upper hand. Or making us feel like we are not trying hard enough to step up and step on someone else's liberty, hope, and opportunity to claim it as our own. Try turning a blind eye to the bullshit that THAT ecosystem nailed in you. You do you, and celebrate every aspect of your life. The successes and the failures, the highs and the lows. The fear of losing out is just another ploy designed to keep you ungrateful and oblivious to the beauty of universe's plan for you.
- That it is okay to quit
When will the time be just right to get over the trepidation of what is yet to come, to take agency of your life right now? The answer is never. Because there is no timeline around fearfulness. If you are afraid to relinquish what doesn't serve you under some pretext or the other, chances are you will always be too scared to do it no matter how supported you might be, or no matter what lies ahead. To try, try again till you succeed is overrated. It is okay to bow to the bludgeoning of fate, and to stop fighting when all it wants you to do is surrender. Because there is power in that too. There is dignity in losing, sometimes. Because when you lose, you also seek. You allow yourself chances at the new, as opposed to being sucked in by the old and defunct that has refused to serve you so far. Being stubborn is a strength. But knowing when to leave, and to let go is not a sign of weakness. No shame in retreating, is all I am saying. The war is not lost yet, no matter the lost battles.
- You are relevant. You matter. And everything you do is accounted for
If today was your last day on Earth, as a mortal, will it really bother you how many likes on Instagram did you not generate, or how many outfit of the day selfies you did not put online? Or will it be a bother who threw shade at you at work, or who you need to get even with because they hurt you when you were not at you resilient best? Well, maybe. But there is a huge chance that none of these trivial everyday things will make any difference when you are six feet under, or a pile of ash. Not in the least. Not to you, nor to anyone else. Legacies are not just built around being a tyrant, a sycophant, or being evil. Or creating a ripple effect borne out of insensitivity or selfishness, or insecurity, prodded by the fear of not being on top or being in control. Legacy, or what you are remembered or immortalised for, has more to do with the goodness that you spread. No matter how big or small the gesture. May it be serving food to someone living in hunger, or offering a kind word to somebody who could do with some warmth. Or smiling at people often, even if they don't deserve it (trust me, it can throw the coldest of souls off). Or being selfless, honest, and truthful to those you love, or who love you, and giving fully from the heart. These are just a few example.
Through the darkest of days, it is good to remind yourself that even if you are not living the life of your dreams, you are still a part of a consciousness much bigger than you. A design where every 'I' eventually comes down to 'We'. And if you are adding value to your or anyone else's life in ways that you know best, it is more than enough. You are enough. And that fear should ideally be sent the eviction notice it deserves, lest it stops you from channeling all that is awesome in you.
Image Source: Pexels
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