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So, You're Single Again. Now What?

Written by Vineeta S

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I feel like I am living my days on repeat, falling into similar circumstances, and coming out just the same. Except "circumstances" here is an analogy for arms of a man and "coming out" only means ending up heartbroken. Post five failed relationships, I am convinced that I may either be under a hex by the anti-cupid, or perhaps have mastered the wrong art - the art of staying single.

single now what?

Having aced it less by choice and more by circumstance, this is one state of being that I mostly find myself in. Sometimes my singlehood is my only respite, and other times, it is the cause of debilitating anxiety. Regardless, being single comes as a new challenge every time.

I remember how devastated I was after my first break up. Youngest hearts break the hardest, after all. The second was bad too, just not as much. Although, it was then when I learnt what indifference really meant... Up until I met my third heartbreaker, and he made me unlearn everything I knew about love! So naturally, my third break up left me never really the same. This was that one break up, where I stopped eating, drinking, sleeping and eventually... thinking. After months of sulking, when I finally crawled out of the pool of tears and self-pity I had made myself extremely comfortable in, I entered a relationship with another guy, who now if I come to think of it, was a clear rebound. The indifference came back as soon as this guy left and honestly, by the fifth break-up, I wasn’t sure what to even feel.

At this point, I’m more versed with what not to do rather than with what to do. Don’t drown yourself in alcohol. Don’t reply to the boys that slide into your DMs only to further slide in your pants. Don’t stalk his facebook. Don’t miss your meals. Don’t go batshit crazy on him after getting drunk. Don’t date anyone like him ever again.

 

But what about the other part? What is it that I do instead? Here's what my guess would be:

Remember that being single is a life skill: This is just another chance to learn how to "life," and hone the skill till it makes you stronger, sharper and self-sufficient in every aspect.

Remember you’re not missing out on anything! In fact, you’re more available to experience and do what you’ve always wanted to do.   

single now what?

Remember that being single and being alone are mutually exclusive: Loneliness that follows after a break up is just transitory and will pass the moment you replace that empty space with more of yourself.

Remember the good: It is easy to discard the happy memories during a bad break up. But years later when you’ll look back, you’d want to look back fondly and not with regret because regret weighs more heavily than those memories ever will.

Remember and celebrate what you learned: Every relationship leaves you with a learning and you must always make use of that to help yourself grow into a better, not a bitter person.

Image Source: Pexels

 

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