What I Learned About Healing, Life And Death, From The Founder Of ‘Love Heals Cancer’
Dimple Parmar and Nitesh Prajapat were two people in love who, in 2016, learnt that Nitesh was battling through the last stage of colorectal cancer. Even after having learned about the life-threatening disease Nitesh was going through, Dimple, against all odds, married him. It was, according to her, “Not what she married into, cancer, but what she married for, love”.
When she learned about the diagnosis, her world stopped and shattered in front of her. Suddenly she was living her worst nightmare but she was still of the belief that miracles do happen... and why couldn’t one happen for them?. However, after about two years, a transformative journey, a few magical moments and attaining what could only be called a holistic and spiritual enlightenment, Nitesh passed away.
It shattered Dimple, for she did not know how to restart, but it still did not break her faith. And so, she "surrendered to a higher power", and that is when amazing things happened to her and through her, as she in her own words, “became a medium to serve to this higher purpose of healing others.”
Here’s what I learnt about healing, life and death, from the founder of Love Heals Cancer:
Loss enables you more than it disables you
Yes, loss can leave you emotionally paralysed, but you have the power to channel all the energy raging inside you, and using it for a higher purpose. It is the mirror that life holds to us, which if we learn to view with optimism, can enable us. “Before, Nitesh passed away, he was my motivation to work towards this organisation, and after him, people are my motivation. I found my calling, my purpose in them. By healing another individual, you are somewhere healing yourself, and that in itself is enough.”
The reality is that life and death are not in your control, and that is okay
It is when you understand death, that you start living. And that is the paradox that life is. Nobody knows how much time anyone has left. and to want to alter that is just running away from reality. “Cancer or no cancer, we assume that we have so many years left, whereas we never know when our time will come. And the only thing that will survive is the kindness that we leave behind. Before Nitesh passed away, he was in the ICU for 23 days, and for those 23 days, I did not see the light of day. I was there, beside him, every second, trying to brainstorm with the doctors for something to work. But it was then that I realised how I didn’t have to do a hundred things on him to get a miracle. And that is when I understood the reality of mortality, that it is not in our control, and it’s alright. I did not have to lose what I was left with to get what I anyway couldn’t have.”
Healing is different from curing
We often use the two terms interchangeably, not realising that there is a world of difference between the two, and that world is acceptance. You may not be able to cure a person of an illness like cancer, but it doesn’t mean that you cannot heal the person from its pain. “Curing is where you survive medically, and healing is where you survive mentally and emotionally. What we are focusing on is not the healing of the body, but of the person as a whole. The focus is on the body, mind and soul and not just on the disease. Nitesh had many tumors, but I was never focussing on the cure. I was just focusing on his healing. That is how his inner and spiritual transformation happened. Even during his last days, he was happy and full of joy, and living each day as it came. The temptation that he had even then to serve others told us that he had already healed, and it came only after he had accepted the reality, not with bitterness but with a strong will.”
It’s not about how long you live; it is about the way you live
The measure of a life must never be in time, but in moments and memories, and what you make of the time you have. “Nitesh and I lived our forever in those two years. We went in as someone scared, but came out holistically, spiritually and emotionally nourished. That journey that we saw together still gives me courage and strength to get up every day and do what I do. God gave us a lifetime of love and happiness in those years we had together, and possibly made us the instruments to serve to this purpose of healing others in our life. Yes, our time was shorter than others, but when I look at what it taught me, it all seems worth it.”