25 Hilarious Thoughts I Had During My First Yoga Class
Since I was young, fitness to me has meant only one thing, and that is dance. I never really felt the need to explore other options until recently, when a dear friend took a considerable amount of time to convince me to accompany her to a yoga class she had been raving about.
Now, my knowledge about yoga is as good as that of a 15-year-old who has only ever seen either Baba Ramdev doing anulom-vilom on the TV, or watched Shilpa Shetty flaunt her uber sexy poses... also on TV. So, when I was bombarded with rather interesting information about how it is allegedly one of the most “enlightening” things you can do for yourself, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try. With much hilarity, these are the thoughts that crossed my mind, as opposed to the neutral peaceful state I had hoped I’d been in:
1. Oh, we had to bring a mat?
2. Dammit, should’ve gone for a pedicure!
3. So much twisting and turning! God, please don’t make me fart!
4. Should I know what ‘tadasana’ means
5. But if I close my eyes, how will I know what to do next?
6. Is it usually this quiet during yoga? I hope people can’t hear my tummy growling!
7. Okay, this doesn’t feel too bad. Maybe I should go home and read up on yoga.
8. Focal point? Hmm, alright I’ll just look at that guy’s head in front of me, and concentrate.
9. I hope he doesn’t think I’m checking him out right now!
10. Yes, finally the cat pose! Time to suck the tummy in and stretch!
11. What a perv! He is totally checking me out in this pose!
12. But my ass does look pretty good in these yoga pants. Can’t blame him!
13. He’s not that bad either actually. Maybe I should say hi afterwards.
14. Oh shit! When did we change the pose?
15. I’m quite enjoying this. I should definitely buy more yoga clothes.
16. Wait, did I just pull a muscle?
17. Nope, just an awkward pop. I’m good. Breathe!
18. Since when did breathing become so difficult?
19. Not bad... my body feels so much more relaxed, and my mind a lot less tensed.
20. Shit! It’s been 40 minutes since I checked my email!
21. Is it just me or is the instructor really hot?
22. What is he doing! Is it even humanly possible to get into that pose?
23. Great, here I am looking like a pretzel, and there she is, looking so fine!
24. When will we get to the asana where we get to lay down and sleep?