
Out of my five closest friends, two are straight men. All three of us have partners, but honestly, that’s irrelevant for my argument. Having these two male friends has helped me see men as whole human beings in their own right, with hopes and heartbreak, fears and aspirations. I believe my presence in their lives has done the same for them. We don’t see each other as potential romantic partners, and this has allowed us to look at the opposite sex from a different lens – a lens that has no agenda. It’s just individuals hanging out together. Just… being.

Ray is both endearing and annoying at once. He doesn’t want to hurt women, but still ends up making them feel unsafe. This contradiction highlights the problem with gender discourse today – men are given a long list of ‘Don’ts’ for their dealings with women. But in the absence of a list of ‘Dos’, many men find themselves lost and confused.

When Neelam (Shefali Shah) from Dil Dhadakne Do sees her husband Kamal (Anil Kapoor) flirt with another woman on their anniversary, she goes to her room and gobbles up a slice of cake. No, she stuffs her mouth with cake, trying hard to not break down. This was one of the most memorable moments of this hard-hitting movie, and that’s because it’s all too real. Like many women, the stress of her husband’s many indiscretions pushed her to seek pleasure and relief from food. Although temporary, this sense of pleasure is exactly why we tend to eat when we’re stressed.